Every Single Day And Every Single Thing, Is A Blessing.

MOVED

2009-05-08T12:26:00.003+08:00

I've decided to move my blog to another space. I will not delete this blog as so much have been wrote here.

Please continue to visit me HERE.

Thank you.

Cousins' Love

2009-05-07T23:35:00.005+08:00

My migraine all gone when I met my two cousin this afternoon. It is true when some says the sickness is all in the mind. When I was with them, I did not think about my migraine at all. I just had my fun with them.

I love their company. We could really talk about anything. We just don't have to hide. We talked about our life. All of us are mothers now, so somehow we touched the topic on our children.

We always get free meal if we lunch with Linda. She will not accept our money to pay her back. She is one generous lady. May Allah grants her with more wealth.

I had my chance to romos Linda's girl, Nisa. Carried her, kissed her, hugged her, changed her diapers and also fed her milk. I simply love this little girl. And I know she loves me too.

Me feeding Nisa

And Nisa loves her Mama Lyn too.

I've Let Go

2009-05-07T11:56:00.004+08:00

I've let go all the unwanted feelings. I feel my burden is lighter and feel so free. I do not wish to keep the negative feelings in my heart. It's all out now.

As I'm typing this, the migraine that started since yesterday night, still exist. My head is throbbing with pain. This morning I have started to sneeze a lot. So I accept that this week is my sick week. My body is clearing out all the negatives eons just like I've cleared all the negative feelings.

Despite the migraine, I will be meeting my two cousins, which I love so dearly, for lunch. I cannot just cancel this appointment as one of my cousins has taken leave from work for this lunch meeting. I do not want to disappoint her as much as I want to meet my cousins also. These two are my closest cousins and we went through a lot together.

My cousin will be bringing her little girl along and everyone knows how much I love babies. Babies are one amazing creature which I just want to hold and kiss them forever. All my three children have grown, but in my heart they are still my babies.

The Mixed Feelings

2009-05-04T12:07:00.004+08:00

Right now, my feelings are all jumble up.

Sad, disappointed, anxious, happy, angry, hurt, worry, confident, empty, missing....

So many things happened after my last update.

I attended the two-days workshop by Shaykh Yahya Rhodus, and I can still hear his soft voice and remember the knowledge that he shared.

The feeling of being near with the people of Allah, Habib Umar,Shaykh Khalil Moore and others, is so indescribable.

The joy of having my sisters-In-Islam, inside Allah's houses, with the people of Allah, is beyond amazing. Speaking of my sisters-in-Islam, I am going to miss them terribly. My house is no longer a garden of Paradise on every Friday. And thinking of that, really makes me sad. But I am thankful that I have the chance to make my house a garden of Paradise, even though for a very short time. My house feels empty on Friday.

I can still hear the rhythm and beat at the Spiritual Jamming organized by SimplyIslam. Together with Shaykh Khalil Moore and Shaykh Usama Cannon, the Qasidah and Selawat. The du'a. The best part was, my husband and my three children were there too. It's kind of family outing with spiritual entertainment.

There's also a full version of Semarak Selawat with Ustaz Shafi at Masjid Sultan. As usual, it's full house and very crowded, yet it's very spirit-lifting and satisfying the soul.

Then I received a sad and yet happy news at the same time. The feelings are all mixed up now. Some questions have been answered and yet some are left hanging. Putting away all the hope and little disappointment, I just have to accept what's stored for me. Redha. I'll let Allah decides what's best for me, as HE is The All-Knowing.

Habib Umar Bin Hafiz

2009-04-22T14:57:00.004+08:00

He's back, Masya'Allah.....

Please let me attend his lectures, Ya Allah.....

Discomfort

2009-04-20T16:36:00.003+08:00

Taking the MRT alone from one end to another end was no fun at all. It would be better if I travel with someone. At least I had someone to distract me.

I saw what I should not see. Looking down at my shoes all the way helps though.

I heard what I should not hear. If only I turned on the volume of my MP3 loud enough.

I smelt what I should not smell. Tyring hard not to puke. I could faint.

I almost touched what I should not touch. Trying hard to keep my ablution stays.

Sat between two male strangers was very scary. I wanted to gave up my seat but my journey was still long way to go. And I didn't want to stand with more men around me. So I stayed put. One of them falls asleep and ALMOST landed his head on my lap. I asked for Allah's help, and that man's handphone rang. Phew.....

I'm not being stuck-up here, just posting my discomfort taking the MRT alone. If I have the choice, I want Hubby to send me wherever I need to go.

Or staying home is so much better choice........

Patience

2009-04-18T10:24:00.002+08:00

Narrated Abu Said Al-Khudri: Some Ansari persons asked for (something) from Rasulullah s.a.w and he gave them. They again asked him for (something) and he again gave them. And then they asked him and he gave them again till all that was with him finished. And then he said "If I had anything. I would not keep it away from you. (Remember) Whoever abstains from asking others, Allah will make him contented, and whoever tries to make himself self-sufficient, Allah will make him self-sufficient. And whoever remains patient, Allah will make him patient. Nobody can be given a blessing better and greater than patience." ~ Sahih Bukhari

I NEED to be patient.

And I need time.

Everything Went Well

2009-04-13T17:03:00.003+08:00

Alhamdulillah. Everything went well, as planned.

On Thursday night, I had Qiyam session with my beloved Halaqah sisters. My children slept over at their Nenek's house and Hubby spent his time alone at home. I had doubt at first actually, leaving Hubby sleeping alone. But I guess, it's good to be alone once in a while.

The Qiyam session with the sisters was indeed beautiful and peaceful. The bond and the love between us, could not be described by words. We forget about our differences. We were there for the sake of Allah, and Rasulullah.

I was relieved and glad as my presentation on "The Remembrance of Allah" went well. Only Allah knows how nervous and worried I was before the presentation. I really did my homework and research on the topic. But Alhamdulillah, they did not nod off during my presentation. They listened. And I pray hard they got what I was trying to deliver.

Friday was rest day and clear some housework day. By then all my children were back home and suddenly the house became noisy. I was supposed to help out for the Maulidur Rasul's preparation, but Hubby went alone instead. I wanted to gather my strength for the big day on Saturday.

And Saturday was the big day. We came to the National Stadium at 2.30 pm to help out here and there. The sky was dark and at about 5 p.m, it was raining heavily. I pray hard that people would still come despite the rain.

My prayer was answered. More than 10,000 jemaah came, for the sake of Allah and Rasulullah. As usual, Ustaz Shafi managed to attract thousands of people when he and Darul Fikrah organized a Maulid. I am proud to be part of Darul Fikrah. The best part was, my two girls also had the chance to help out distributing the packet of briyani rice, Selawat book and water to the jemaah at the entrance. While Affandy had the chance to be with the 'Ulama. He was taken care by the Darul Fikrah's volunteers in charge, and he did not even cry and look for me for that night. I was so proud of my children.

The Maulid went very well. The preparations, the meetings, the standings, the sweat, the smile, the thirst, the hunger, the pain. There were all so worth it.

We left the National Stadium about 1 a.m. By the time we reached home, we were dead beat.

Invitation To All

2009-04-06T17:34:00.003+08:00

*Click on for clearer view*

Please come. For the sake of Allah and our Rasulullah s.a.w.

Yesterday Learnt

2009-04-06T16:13:00.004+08:00

"NEVER EVER forget that we have sins in this life. Covering the aurah from head to toe does not make us better that others. Syaitan will always trick us by make us believe that we are one level higher than the rest. Syaitan will always keep on attacking when we make a step closer to Allah. Always remember our past sins to make us humble, to make us remember that we are nothing."

"Make at least 300 Istighfar per day as we live in life full of distractions. Make yourself feel "lower" after each Istighfar."

"If we lose adab and akhlak, we lose Islam. When we have adab with Allah, automatically we have adab towards human."

Sink it in your head and straight to your heart, Rina!!

Big Lessons Learnt

2009-03-30T16:04:00.006+08:00

In this life, I've met all sorts of people.

I've learnt a few very big lessons last week. The lessons that can make me remember for the rest of my whole life.

I sincerely gave some advice, but sadly it was labelled as "scolding". My intention was being misunderstood.

I dutifully feedback some issue, but it was taken as "complain". Then tongue wars started. Scary.

My words were twisted and they made a small issue, big.

Some people were really unfair, bias and such a suck-up to other people of higher rank. What could they gain? Seriously, NOTHING!

Where was my mistake? I talked too much. I involved too much. Really too much.

I learnt my mistakes the hard way. I am so going to avoid these people. I have too many sins already. Just by being with them, it will get worse.

I'll stick to the small and certain group of people who really accept me as what I am.

The next important thing, is to keep my mouth shut. When there's nothing to say, I'll glue my mouth. I want to smile more, rather than talk more.

"Ya Allah, please forgive me, as I have sins. Bring me close to the people that can bring me closer to YOU. Guide me. Help me, Ya Allah..."

Why I Love My Sunday?

2009-03-23T17:05:00.005+08:00

Sunday morning. Allah's house. An-Nur. Millions of Angels. Full of seekers. Ustaz Shafi. Zikir. Selawat. Tears of repent. Soothing. Al-Fatehah. Du'a. Imam Habib Abdullah Haddad. Words of wisdom. Reminder. Hadith. Connection with Allah. Back to Fitrah. Zikir Munajat. Closing Du'a. Sisters-In-Islam. Hajj Jema'ah. Hugs. Kisses.

Sunday afternoon. Lunch. Shopping. Gathering at in-laws' abode. Family meeting. Bonding. Quality time. Dinner. Sotong Masak Hitam.

Sunday night. Masayu's abode. Millions of Angels. Ustazah Muna Alhabshi. Sisters. Al Fatehah. Asma Ul Husna. Al-Hasyr. Selawat. Intention. Halaqah. Rasulullah. Talked about Heart. Invisible slapped in the face. Shared. Tears. Words of advise. Experience. Tasbih Kafarah. Al-Asri. Selawat. Hugs. Kisses. Curry Puffs. Fried Banana. Purple Pudding. Tea with ice. Small talk.

I want more blissful Sundays....

Missing Afiqah

2009-03-18T10:23:00.003+08:00

I admit that sometimes I wished that I could have some time to be alone, without the kids. My house can be pretty peaceful without the children around.

It's a normal practise that my all children will sleep over at their Nenek's house on school holidays.

But this round, it seems that only Afiqah is very excited to be with Nenek. Since she was there since last Sunday, she is supposed to come back soon. But she insisted to be with her Nenek still this Sunday. What?? The whole week of school holidays!

I definitely disagree with her decision. She has not completed her homework yet. I told her that she has to be back home on Thursday.

The truth is, I, as a mother, feels kind of weird and incomplete when one of my children is not with me. I might complained here and there about them. But still, they are my children. I gave birth to them. I want them to be with me.

A few days without them is acceptable but not seeing them for the whole week...NO.

Allah knows how I felt when I did my pilgrimage for the whole month of December last year. Being apart from my children for the one whole solid month. The yearning to hug and kiss them, missing their voices....it's unbearable for a mother. But Alhamdulillah, with Allah's help, I managed to go through that test.

I have not seen Afiqah for three days. I admit I miss that girl terribly. Today I may stop by at Nenek's house to see my girl. Nenek wanted all my three children to stay with her tonight. But unfortunately, Afrina has a plan of her own, I can't force her to sleep over at Nenek's place. Afrina is a grown up girl now and to her sleeping over is no longer an excitement. She would rather read her books and face the PC, at home, without any interruption.

But I'm not sure about Affandy though. This young man changes his mind very fast. One minute he wants to be with Nenek, the next minute he wants to go home. I'll let him decide later.

Anger

2009-03-12T16:00:00.004+08:00

I saw a mother, scolded and shouted at her child, in public place. Everyone around suddenly became quiet and turned at the shrieking voice. I did not know what the child had done, but my heart went to the child. The child just stood still, looked down, and wept uncontrollably. I wept with the child, inside my heart.

If I had the courage, I would have hug the child and tell the child everything would be ok.

This incident is kind of a reflection to me. Have I ever scolded and screamed at my children in public places like that? At home, yes, sometimes, but outside, seriously, I cannot remember. I pray that I have not and I will not. Ever. Usually those who are angry could not remember herself being angry as she is controlled by syaitan. I seek Allah's forgiveness if I have ever done that.

I put myself in that child's shoe. Being humiliated and embarrassed, in front of the public, by own mother. People staring all around. Feeling helpless, defenseless, vulnerable. And crying is the best and the only thing that she can do.

Shame on me if I ever scream at my children in public places. As much as I do not want to be humiliated, I should never humiliate others, even to my own children.

Narrated Sulaiman bin Surd : "While I was sitting in the company of the Prophet (pbuh), two men abused each other and the face of one of them became red with anger, and his jugular veins swelled (i.e. he became furious). On that, the Prophet (pbuh) said, "I know a word, the saying of which will cause him to relax, if he does say it. If he says: 'I seek Refuge with Allah from Satan.' then all his anger will go away." ~ Sahih Bukhari

How beautiful and simple the lesson our beloved Prophet (pbuh) taught us. We seek refuge with Allah, when we are angry. It may be simple to say, but it's not totally impossible to do. And it's the right thing to do.

I need to apologize to my children and want to hug my children right now....

As I am not a perfect mother.

Misunderstood

2009-03-10T17:09:00.003+08:00

I'm being misunderstood.

I should have kept quiet and didn't get myself involved. But my intention was clear.

I wanted to help, for Allah's sake.

I know my intention was right, but my action was being misunderstood.

I could sense that something was not right. When I looked further, my feeling was right. People could take others' explanation, but could not accept mine. People could accept others' action, but could not accept mine. The funny thing was, both explanation and action were the same. It's just from different person.

Life is unfair, yes, but I know Allah is just. HE knows my REAL intention.

Now that I'm being misunderstood (serves me right for being involved), keep quiet and stay away is the BEST solution at the moment.

Sisters' Hugs and Kisses

2009-03-07T07:35:00.002+08:00

It was simply beautiful. Really simply beautiful.

Last night, my small abode has become the garden of paradise.

Sisters of Islam came.

We sat.
We recited beautiful Surahs from the Quran.
We mentioned the Asma Ul-Husna.
We read Selawat.
We said our intention.
We shared knowledge.
We asked questions.
We listened.
We ta'aruf.
We laughed.
We hugged.
We kissed.
We cried.
We mingled around.
We parted.

And I can feel they are still here.....

I want everyday to be Friday.

Decision....Decision

2009-03-05T09:19:00.002+08:00

To be near or to stay away?

To join an open group or to be with a close group?

To get involve or not to get involve?

To have lots of friends or to have only a close few friends?

To voice out or to keep quiet?

To go or not to go?

To cook or not to cook?

To entertain the children or to have more own free time?

To have nothing to do with it or to have something to do with it?

To stay neutral or to take side?

To obey husband or to listen to majority says?

To shift the furniture or to let it stay as it is?

To buy good but expensive one or to buy cheap but useable one?

To take medicine or to let it heal by itself?

Guide me in making the right decisions, Ya Allah...

Bring me to those who can lead me closer to you, Ya Rahman...

Show me the way to have peaceful in life...Ya Rahim...

And it has started

2009-03-03T17:10:00.004+08:00

My Halaqah class has started and I'm blessed to be there.

Seeing my beloved Ustazah and hearing her sweet voice again. Attending the Halaqah again was like a wake up call for me. A tight slap on the face.

Seeing my fellow Halaqah sisters again makes me really happy and overjoyed. I see there are new sisters joining us. We were chosen by Allah to be there. We want a very good ending of our lives. We were there for one reason, to be near Allah and Rasulullah.

I'm certain by obeying Allah and Rasulullah, I can find peace in life.

InsyaAllah.....

Sweetness of Faith

2009-02-07T10:20:00.002+08:00

Narrated Anas:

The Prophet (pbuh) said, "Whoever possesses the following three qualities will have the sweetness (delight) of faith:

1. The one to whom Allah and His Apostle becomes dearer than anything else.
2. Who loves a person and he loves him only for Allah's sake.
3. Who hates to revert to Atheism (disbelief) as he hates to be thrown into the fire."

~ Sahih Bukhari ~

Bundle of Joy

2009-02-05T01:34:00.005+08:00

Nisa Sabrina Binte Nor Azhary, my cousin's daughter. I love babies...

And yes, my girls love babies too.

Saturday Walk

2009-02-01T00:53:00.005+08:00

Yesterday, Hubby and I decided to leave our car in the car park and took our kids out by public transport. This was the first time in 2009, we rode on a bus and MRT. I'm glad that we made that decision. I do not want my children to rely too much on our own vehicle. I want them to experience how it feels like to stand in a crowded MRT. Nevertheless, they enjoyed the MRT ride.

We walked a lot yesterday. I mean really really walk. We walked almost three quarter of our journey which started at 10.30 a.m and reached home at 7.00pm.

Home. Feeder Bus. MRT to Lavender. ICA. MRT to Bugis. Lunch. Walk to Masjid Sultan. Walk to MRT Bugis. City Hall MRT. Walk to Esplanade. Walk. Walk. Walk. Eat ice-cream. Walk to Merlion. Walk to City Hall MRT. Somerset MRT. Walk to Masjid Al-Falah. Early dinner. Walk to Somerset MRT. Woodlands MRT. Feeder Bus. Home.

Now my feet are aching.

Have Faith In HIM

2009-01-31T08:12:00.004+08:00

I used to chat online a lot. Almost everyday. But I've stopped chatting for a long time already. Only on a few occasions when I needed to discuss something important, then I would be online with that person only. I feel it's better to stay this way.

While I was checking through my Facebook, a friend whom I love dearly, invited me to chat. I was ecstatic as it's been quite sometime since I talked to her. She is facing trials from Allah right now and she accepts her fate very well. I wish I have half of her strength to go through trials in life. She is one strong woman. I learn a lot from her.

The sweetest thing is that, even though she herself is going through some rough time now, she offers her hand to help someone who is in need. I am touch by her sincerity. I am impress with her positiveness in life.

After we updated each other on what's happening in our lives, I realized something. There's a reason behind anything that happen. Allah arranges our lives so perfectly. HE is the All-Knowing. HE closes one door but opens a few other opportunities for us. HE knows what's best for us. We need to open our eyes and open our heart to see and feel the blessings. We just need to believe and have deep faith in HIM.

Oh No!

2009-01-30T16:27:00.002+08:00

I really need to get organized.

My routine is such a mess now.

I've slacken a lot.

This is just not me.

Time to WAKE UP.

Class

2009-01-20T12:17:00.002+08:00

It's such a sweet pleasure to resume my classes back. For almost 2 months I've stopped attending due to my Hajj, now I got to get my engine starts.

It's so nice to see all the familiar faces in my Kuliah, even though I do not know most of their names. But the best part, we still acknowledged one another and we salam. Some even hugged and kissed my cheek. That's what silaturahim is about.

Now I wonder when will my Halaqah class starts....

The Blessings We Have

2009-01-18T23:56:00.006+08:00

I always believe that when Allah took away a pleasure from me, He will replace with more pleasures later. There's always a blessing in disguise.

In this economy downturn, my family is somehow affected. Hubby's company now practices a 4-days work week to all the staff. I was worried actually, but all I said was "Alhamdulillah". At that time, I did not see the blessing behind that.

Now I see a clearer picture. Allah closed a door yet opened up more doors for us. With a 4-days work, Hubby now can spend more quality time with us. It's like we are having a long weekend as Hubby only works from Mondays to Fridays. He can perform his Friday prayers in peace without rushing off to work after that. He can go to JB to fill up petrol. He can help me around in the house.

We have the intention to train our almost-six-year-old son to perform his Friday prayers. Affandy school ends at 12.30 pm and his school is so near to Masjid An-Nur. Hubby can just pick him up and go direct to the mosque with his son. But we know that this intention is going to take sometime to happen. Affandy still having this "separation anxiety" and the person he wants to see right after school is ME. We are trying out best to coax him slowly and hopefully he will be ready to follow his Abah to Friday prayers soon.

Another blessing is that every Saturday is like a holiday for our family. Saturday is totally a family quality bonding time. We bring our children out and we just have our fun. What makes it more fun is that, my kitchen is always closed on weekends :D. Hubby and I did not see our children for the whole month of December, now we realize that how much our children have grown. These are the moments we need to treasure.

Right after we fetch our girls from their madrasah every Sunday morning, we are in time to attend our Kuliah Dhuha with Ustaz Shafi at Masjid An-Nur. We have our lunch after the Kuliah and again we will think of a plan for our next destination.

Allah arranges everything so nicely for us. Alhamdulillah.

Then came another blessing. We had heard about it before we went to Hajj but we did not put high hope on it. We leave it to Allah. But Allah wants it to happen and we have only Allah to thank. Hubby has been promoted to senior position and will receive a pay rise. All these blessings come from Allah. We receive with open heart and arms. Alhamdulillah.

At The Playground

2009-01-16T17:31:00.004+08:00

Just having fun at the playground....

Masjidil Haram & Millions Of Jemaah

2009-01-15T16:14:00.005+08:00

The journey from Hotel Zam Zam Suites to Masjidil Haram is only about 3 minutes. But with millions of Muslims in Mecca during the Hajj, it took so much longer than that. I felt like an ant walking among them, trying to reach my destination.

Jemaah walking out of Masjidil Haram after Zuhur prayer

Subhanallah........

2009 With A New Routine

2009-01-09T15:30:00.003+08:00

Every year, I will have a new routine. Same goes for 2009.

I find that my routine for this year is a little bit hectic, especially in the morning. Maybe I have not get used to the new routine. I still need time to adjust.

My weekdays morning is somehow very rushing. Afrina and Affandy are in morning sessions while Afiqah is in the afternoon session. How I miss my "alone time" in the morning after the children were at school last year. I don't get that privilege this year.

For the past days, Hubby has been helping sending Afrina and Affandy to school. I start doing some house chores before going to the market and cook. As Afiqah is in the afternoon session, so her Quran class will be in the morning, twice a week. Right after her Quran class, she has to get ready to school. As for me, I have my Hadith class on Tuesdays and Quran class on Wednesdays. So my weekdays morning is practically in and out of the house.

After sending Afiqah to school, I have to fetch Afrina and Affandy. Get them to pray and eat lunch, then I have to sit with them for their homework and revision. Then I continue to clear the never-ending house chores. Have to fetch Afiqah in the evening. After Maghrib, we'll have dinner and I'll sit with Afiqah to do her homework.

By 9 pm, I'll get the children to perform their Isyak prayer, then off to bed. When they are in bed, then I can relax. By that time, I really feel exhausted and sleepy.

This year, as two of my children are in primary school, I pledge to do more volunteering work at their school. I want to get to know the school better and get involve in their activities. As this is my second year helping, I have made some friends there and I'm comfortable with them.

All my religious classes will resume starting from this Sunday. On some of my weekday nights, I'll attend the classes with Hubby. I don't wish to miss the classes even how exhausted I am. I yearn to be in majlis ilmu.

I pray that Allah gives me absolute strength, so that I can perform my duty to Him and to my family, well.

My heart is THERE....

2009-01-06T16:13:00.005+08:00

Subhanallah. Alhamdulillah. Allahu Akbar.

Every single praises is ONLY for ALLAH.

Allah the Most Compassionate. Allah the Most Merciful.

Alhamdulillah, I am back from my Hajj pilgrimage since last Thursday.

There is no exact words I could find to describe the feeling when I was there at the two Holy Lands, only praises to Allah.

Prayed inside Masjidil Haram, facing the Ka'abah, with more than 3 million Muslims from all over the world, was simply ........

Prayed inside Masjidil Nabawi, with my beloved Rasulullah s.a.w, so near, was entirely .......

I could not find a better word.

I could only cry.

Despite the trials, tests and sickness I got over there, yes, I still wanna go again.

Mecca, Mina, Arafah, Muzdalifah, and of course, Madinah, were the places of my million teardrops.

My spiritual journey to only HIM.

InsyaAllah, I will be back with more.

The Journey Begins

2008-11-27T00:20:00.002+08:00

Every time I think about it, I'll have butterflies in my stomach. I could not really describe the exact feelings I'm having right now.

InsyaAllah, in less than a week, to be exact, next Monday, my spiritual journey begins. I'll be joining 3 million Muslims from all the over world, to the sacred and holy land. I have been invited by Allah, and I will fulfil the invitation with my whole heart.

While I am typing this, I have not even pack a single thing. I have the list of what to bring, but the luggage bags are still empty. I have so many things to settle before my departure, especially those related to my children. Not just their school books, bags, uniforms etc., I also have to prepare them for my one-whole-month not being with them. I do not have much problems with Afrina and Afiqah, as they seem to understand what I will be going through. But Affandy thought that I will be home by 10 p.m each night. He cried when I told him that we will be apart for one month. He even talked in his sleep by crying out "Ummi!! Ummi!!".

It's really hard to leave my children. That is my most greatest challenge. But I am determine and that cannot stop me. I am leaving behind all my precious world possessions - my children, my families and relatives, my friends, my house, my car, my books, my plants (yes, I grow plants) etc., for the sake of my spiritual journey to HIM. All of that are not mine anyway, they belong to HIM. HE could anytime take away all that from me. It's now between me and HIM.

I'll be lying if I say I am not scared. I am scared.

I pray for health, patience and smooth throughout my whole journey.

I seek forgiveness from all of you, those I have met and those I have not.

This may be my last entry until I come back, InsyaAllah.

Please keep me in your du'a.

She Did It Again

2008-11-12T14:35:00.003+08:00

Yes, Afrina did it again.

I have lowered my expectations on her exams results, yet she achieved beyond my expectations. She did very well in her final examinations. Way so much better than her mid-year exams.

Seriously, I never expect her to maintain her position in her class/school. It's the marks of each papers that matters to me. But to be one of the top students in her class, is a bonus to me.

I cried when she showed me her record book just now. I hugged and kissed her. I told her that I am very proud of her.

I have only Allah to thank. With HIS guidance and bless, my daughter has succeeded in what she has been working hard for. But I know my role as her mother doesn't end here. She still has a long way to go. And I promise I will be there for her.

Quote of the Day

2008-11-11T17:47:00.002+08:00

I read somewhere...

"If Allah grants your prayers,
He is increasing your faith.

If He delays,
He is increasing your patience.

If not,
He knows you can handle it!"

Subhanallah!!

His Khadijah

2008-11-04T17:08:00.002+08:00

A man who solely works for Allah, requested everyone in the hall to recite Surah Al-Fatehah, specially dedicated to his wife. Softly and sincerely, he expressed his love to her.

He said she was his Khadijah.

He said that if someone else became his wife, she would have left him long time ago.

He said that his wife stood by him through all obstacles of life in spreading Islam.

He said she endured every single hardships with him.

They spent their honeymoon not in a hotel, but slept on a bus, in order for him to seek knowledge from 'Ulama.

He said she did not complain when they got no food to eat.

He said she accepted that he got nothing in the bank. All his earnings were spent on upholding Islam.

He said he was the most fussy man, but his wife took care of him just like his mother did.

He said she was the love of his life.

He said he could afford only this gift - DU'A.

The wife sat at one corner, listened and wept.

And everyone in the hall recited Surah Al-Fatehah specially for her.

That was my Ustaz's gift for his wife's birthday.

MasyaAllah, isn't?

His sincerity of love to his wife moved my heart.

He mentioned that she was his Khadijah.

His Khadijah.

And Khadijah was Rasulullah's s.a.w. love.

Subhanallah.

If my husband told me, sincerely and full of love, that I, was his Khadijah. I could faint. I could be in cloud nine. I could be in Heaven.

But reality check. What have I done so far to deserve that saying, from my husband?

Nothing.

I am far from being his Khadijah.

I am nothing and I have nothing.

I am a pauper who needs his blessings in order to be blessed by Allah.

But what I have for him, is my love, for the sake of Allah.

Allah makes him, my man, my Imaam.

Alhamdulillah.

Pearls Of The Heart

2008-11-03T12:18:00.004+08:00

I have learnt that...

* We have to realize that we are in total denial of all of Allah's bounties to us. We choose to be thankful to human, rather to Allah.

* Without realizing, we've done "syirik" in thinking that human is the one who arranges our life in this world.

* While the truth is, "Rabb" is the ONE who arrange EVERYTHING.

* Feel the pain and difficulty when we try to arrange our own life and refuse to submit wholeheartedly to Allah.

* Just to thankful to ALL the bounties that Allah has grants to us.

* And just be thankful if we fell ill, even how critical is the illness, as there's hidden nikmah and rahmah from Allah.

* The heart is the sole cause for all the illness in our body. To have a healthy and clean heart, DO NOT HATE anyone, even to your enemy. Always forgive them and love them for Allah's sake.

Wallahu'alam....

Talk To The Hands

2008-11-01T01:01:00.002+08:00

Of Love

2008-10-31T11:39:00.003+08:00

He turns 38 yesterday. Alhamdulillah.

Allah grants me with a loving, wonderful and understanding partner. And I believe, with his faith and patience, he is the one that can lead me to THE ONE. InsyaAllah.

I Can Live Without It

2008-10-29T12:15:00.002+08:00

Without realizing, I have not been online for almost 2 weeks.

I did not check my email.

I did not log on to my Facebook, Multiply and Flickr account.

I did not update my blog.

I did not on my PC at all.

And who says I cannot live without internet?

During those days, I kept myself occupied with other things. I have three children having exams. My youngest two children have long completed their exams, left with my eldest, which her last paper will be on 3rd November. Waiting for all the exams to be over is such an agony. And I foresee my anxiety will increase again while waiting for their results.

I pray for the best for all my three children. I believe that Allah is with them.

Something New

2008-10-15T18:05:00.001+08:00

New class.

New place.

New subject.

New friends.

I'm thrilled!!

Fitrah

2008-10-13T11:14:00.003+08:00

Reality sets in.

Am I back to Fitrah, where I am supposed to be?

I am still seeking and my spiritual journey to Fitrah is still a long way...

I pray hard that I can find what I've been looking for all these while.

"I accept YOUR invitation, Ya Allah....

I place myself near YOU, Ya Allah....

I submit my whole self to YOU, Ya Allah...

I redha on what YOU have arrange for me, Ya Allah...."

Holding On

2008-10-08T22:52:00.003+08:00

"So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief,
Verily, with every difficulty there is relief."

~ Surah Al-Insyirah (94 : 5-6)

I'm holding on to this...

I really do.

12 Golongan Yang Didoakan Para Malaikat

2008-09-19T11:53:00.003+08:00

InsyaAllah, berikut inilah orang-orang yang didoakan oleh para malaikat :

1. Orang yang tidur dalam keadaan bersuci.

Rasulullah SAW bersabda, "Barangsiapa yang tidur dalam keadaan suci, maka malaikat akan bersamanya di dalam pakaiannya. Dia tidak akan bangun hingga malaikat berdoa 'Ya Allah, ampunilah hambamu si fulan karena tidur dalam keadaan suci".
(Imam Ibnu Hibban meriwayatkan dari Abdullah bin Umar ra., hadis ini dishahihkan oleh Syaikh Al Albani dalam Shahih At Targhib wat Tarhib I/37)

2. Orang yang sedang duduk menunggu waktu shalat.

Rasulullah SAW bersabda, "Tidaklah salah seorang diantara kalian yang duduk menunggu shalat, selama ia berada dalam keadaan suci, kecuali para malaikat akan mendoakannya 'Ya Allah, ampunilah ia. Ya Allah sayangilah ia'".
(Imam Muslim meriwayatkan dari Abu Hurairah ra., Shahih Muslim no. 469)

3. Orang-orang yang berada di shaf barisan depan di dalam shalat berjamaah.

Rasulullah SAW bersabda, "Sesungguhnya Allah dan para malaikat-Nya bershalawat kepada (orang - orang) yang berada pada shaf - shaf terdepan"
(Imam Abu Dawud (dan Ibnu Khuzaimah) dari Barra' bin 'Azib ra., hadis ini dishahihkan oleh Syaikh Al Albani dalam Shahih Sunan Abi Dawud I/130)

4. Orang-orang yang menyambung shaf pada sholat berjamaah (tidak membiarkan sebuah kekosongan di dalam shaf).

Rasulullah SAW bersabda, "Sesungguhnya Allah dan para malaikat selalu bershalawat kepada orang-orang yang menyambung shaf-shaf".
Para Imam yaitu Ahmad, Ibnu Majah, Ibnu Khuzaimah, Ibnu Hibban dan Al Hakim meriwayatkan dari Aisyah ra., hadis ini dishahihkan oleh Syaikh Al Albani dalam Shahih At Targhib wat Tarhib I/272)

5. Para malaikat mengucapkan 'Amin' ketika seorang Imam selesai membaca Al Fatihah.

Rasulullah SAW bersabda, "Jika seorang Imam membaca 'ghairil maghdhuubi 'alaihim waladh dhaalinn', maka ucapkanlah oleh kalian 'aamiin', kerana barangsiapa ucapannya itu bertepatan dengan ucapan malaikat, maka ia akan diampuni dosanya yang masa lalu".
(Imam Bukhari meriwayatkan dari Abu Hurairah ra., Shahih Bukhari no. 782)

6. Orang yang duduk di tempat shalatnya setelah melakukan shalat.

Rasulullah SAW bersabda, "Para malaikat akan selalu bershalawat ( berdoa ) kepada salah satu diantara kalian selama ia ada di dalam tempat shalat dimana ia melakukan shalat, selama ia belum batal wudhunya, (para malaikat) berkata, 'Ya Allah ampunilah dan sayangilah ia'"
(Imam Ahmad meriwayatkan dari Abu Hurairah, Al Musnad no. 8106, Syaikh Ahmad Syakir menshahihkan hadis ini)

7. Orang-orang yang melakukan shalat shubuh dan 'ashar secara berjama'ah.

Rasulullah SAW bersabda, "Para malaikat berkumpul pada saat shalat shubuh lalu para malaikat ( yang menyertai hamba) pada malam hari (yang sudah bertugas malam hari hingga shubuh) naik (ke langit), dan malaikat pada siang hari tetap tinggal. Kemudian mereka berkumpul lagi pada waktu shalat 'ashar dan malaikat yang ditugaskan pada siang hari (hingga shalat 'ashar) naik (ke langit) sedangkan malaikat yang bertugas pada malam hari tetap tinggal, lalu Allah bertanya kepada mereka, 'Bagaimana kalian meninggalkan hambaku?', mereka menjawab, 'Kami datang sedangkan mereka sedang melakukan shalat dan kami tinggalkan mereka sedangkan mereka sedang melakukan shalat, maka ampunilah mereka pada hari kiamat'"
(Imam Ahmad meriwayatkan dari Abu Hurairah ra., Al Musnad no. 9140, hadis ini dishahihkan oleh Syaikh Ahmad Syakir)

8. Orang yang mendoakan saudaranya tanpa sepengetahuan orang yang didoakan.

Rasulullah SAW bersabda, "Doa seorang muslim untuk saudaranya yang dilakukan tanpa sepengetahuan orang yang didoakannya adalah doa yang akan dikabulkan. Pada kepalanya ada seorang malaikat yang menjadi wakil baginya, setiap kali dia berdoa untuk saudaranya dengan sebuah kebaikan, maka malaikat tersebut berkata 'aamiin dan engkaupun mendapatkan apa yang ia dapatkan'"
(Diriwayatkan oleh Imam Muslim dari Ummud Darda' ra., Shahih Muslim no. 2733)

9. Orang-orang yang berinfak.

Rasulullah SAW bersabda, "Tidak satu hari pun dimana pagi harinya seorang hamba ada padanya kecuali 2 malaikat turun kepadanya, salah satu diantara keduanya berkata, 'Ya Allah, berikanlah ganti bagi orang yang berinfak'. Dan lainnya berkata, 'Ya Allah, hancurkanlah harta orang yang pelit'"
(Imam Bukhari dan Imam Muslim meriwayatkan dari Abu Hurairah ra., Shahih Bukhari no. 1442 dan Shahih Muslim no. 1010)

10. Orang yang sedang makan sahur.

Rasulullah SAW bersabda, "Sesungguhnya Allah dan para malaikat-Nya bershalawat (berdoa ) kepada orang-orang yang sedang makan sahur" Insya Allah termasuk disaat sahur untuk puasa "sunnah".
(Imam Ibnu Hibban dan Imam Ath Thabrani, meriwayaatkan dari Abdullah bin Umar ra., hadis ini dishahihkan oleh Syaikh Al Albani dalam Shahih At Targhiib wat Tarhiib I/519)

11. Orang yang sedang menjenguk orang sakit.

Rasulullah SAW bersabda, "Tidaklah seorang mukmin menjenguk saudaranya kecuali Allah akan mengutus 70.000 malaikat untuknya yang akan bershalawat kepadanya di waktu siang kapan saja hingga sore dan di waktu malam kapan saja hingga shubuh"
(Imam Ahmad meriwayatkan dari 'Ali bin Abi Thalib ra., Al Musnad no. 754, Syaikh Ahmad Syakir berkomentar, "Sanadnya shahih")

12. Seseorang yang sedang mengajarkan kebaikan kepada orang lain.

Rasulullah SAW bersabda, "Keutamaan seorang alim atas seorang ahli ibadah bagaikan keutamaanku atas seorang yang paling rendah diantara kalian. Sesungguhnya penghuni langit dan bumi, bahkan semut yang di dalam lubangnya dan bahkan ikan, semuanya bershalawat kepada orang yang mengajarkan kebaikan kepada orang lain"
(Diriwayatkan oleh Imam Tirmidzi dari Abu Umamah Al Bahily ra., dishahihkan oleh Syaikh Al Albani dalam Kitab Shahih At Tirmidzi II/343)

Sumber :
Syaikh Dr. Fadhl Ilahi, Orang-Orang yang Didoakan Malaikat.

18 Ramadhan = 18 September

2008-09-18T11:23:00.002+08:00

One more year, closer to death. Alhamdulillah....

"Ya Allah! I seek refuge with You from helplessness, laziness, cowardice and feeble old age. I seek refuge with You from afflictions of life and death and seek refuge with You from the punishment in the grave."

Amin.....

Their own world

2008-09-10T16:19:00.005+08:00

Today is the 10th day of Ramadhan. My children were at their own world today...

He was singing to all the selawats that I installed in my handphone.

She was playing Monopoly all by herself.

What else can I say? She's all grown up. Alhamdulillah.

Training them

2008-09-09T17:12:00.004+08:00

Training children to fast needs lots of patience and understanding.

I remember it's so easy to train Afrina. She is 9 years old now. She started to fast full on occasional days when she was 5 years old. By 6 years old, she fasted full day for the whole month. That was a great achievement to me, as her mom.

Afiqah, who is 6 this year, has also started to fast full day. The only thing was that she has a little difficulty in waking up for sahur. Her reason was - sleepy. But Alhamdulillah, for the past days, she did wake up for sahur. At times, with an unhappy and sleepy face. But being a unique Afiqah (yes Hubby & I call her "unique"), she'll be back to her normal self after eating. Sometimes she sleeps back, sometimes she performs her subuh prayers with us.

And now my son, Affandy. Only once that woke up for sahur. By zuhur, he will ask for some food to fill his hungry stomach. And he can be very angry when he's hungry. I guess it's so true when they say "A hungry man is an angry man". I find it's funny when he says, "Ummi, Affandy nak makan sikit, lepas tu puasa balik." Boleh gitu? Since he's only 5, I'm being quite lenient to him. But InsyaAllah next year, no more "makan, lepas tu puasa balik"!

How Would You Feel?

2008-09-08T15:04:00.003+08:00

After lots and lots of du'a, and a sinlge heart to heart conversation, how would you feel....

...when someone took the wudhu...

...when someone put on the praying attire...

...when someone started to pray...

...when someone cried after praying...

...when someone recite the muqaddam after not touching it for such a long time...

It all happened after your unceasing du'a for that someone, with just a small talk.

How would you feel??

This shows that ALLAH listens and and ALLAH grants the du'a.

ALLAHU AKBAR!!

It's not easy

2008-09-03T16:38:00.003+08:00

This is the third day I look after my mom. She complained that she is sick of taking all the medicines prescribed by the doctor.

I can understand that. I was surprised myself when I received a big plastic bag full of tablets. She has to swallow at least five types of different medicines, three times a day. To make it easier for her, Hubby bought a molar and pestle so that I can crush all her medicines.

I wish she can heal through spiritual healing, without taking all those drugs. But in order to do that, she herself has to be spiritually strong. I am not sure if she's ready for that.

As her daughter, I always pray the best for her. I try my best to help her recover. And she needs to help me to help her too.

And I desperately need Allah's help....

It's not over

2008-09-02T15:53:00.003+08:00

It all started on 9 August, when my mom had her first heart attack till she had her heart bypass surgery. My life is being tested and so far, Alhamdulillah, I've endured.

Only Allah knows what I've been thru all these while.

This Ramadhan, Allah grants HIS "rahmat" to me. HE makes my mom stays with me. Mom decided to follow me home so that I can take good care of her. Though I have my fair share of difficulty looking after her, with my three children and all, I pray that Allah makes it easier on me. InsyaAllah...

This Ramadhan, I do not aim for new set of clothings and shoes. I do not want to think about what cookies or cakes to bake. I do not want to think about what dishes to cook. I do not want to think about the conditions of my house. I even do not want to think about Hari Raya.

This Ramadhan, I truly found out that Aidil Fitri is only for those who has reached "taqwa", while I am so far away from it...

But I am working towards it... Help me, Allah...

Why?

2008-08-20T12:08:00.003+08:00

Since all of us will DIE one day, why does everybody act as if they will never depart from this world?

While a person, whose DEATH is CERTAIN, ought to strive for his life after death, how is it that almost all people behave as if their lives in this world will never end?

~ Harun Yahya

** I'm really really really exhausted, mentally and physically...

Help me, Allah... **

I need...

2008-08-15T22:02:00.004+08:00

"Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: "We believe," and will not be tested.?" ~ Al-Ankabut : 2

"And surely, We shall try you till We test those who strive hard (for the Cause of Allah) and the patient ones, and We shall test your facts (i.e. the one who is a liar, and the one who is truthful)." ~ Muhammad : 31

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I really don't know where to start. It all happened in a blink.

What I know is that, I'm facing the bitter sweet of Allah's test on me.

The test which I hope is not too much for me to bear.

I really need physical, emotional and spiritual strength for me to carry on.

I need prayers from you, my friends....*sob sob*

To All Parents... :'(

2008-08-08T00:34:00.000+08:00

Read this and watch the link video.

I truly feel sad for the family of the boy. My heart bleeds when I heard the heart-wrenching news. I wish I knew the parents of the boy. I want to convey my condolences. I want to console them. I want to hug the mom. I want to lend my shoulder for her to cry on. I want her to know that I grieve with her.

It could have been my children. They recovered from HFMD last two week.

Just to share my personal experience.

To tell you the truth, if Afiqah had not complaint of headache and chest pain, I wouldn't know that she got the HFMD. Something moved me to take a torch light and looked for the sign. I saw very tiny ulcers in her mouth and very tiny blisters on her palm. My instinct told me that she got it. True enough. When we sent her to the doctor, she was diagnosed with HFMD.

Both Affandy and Afrina got it the next day.

My advise to all parents out there, even if your child do not complaint of any sickness, JUST CHECK ON THEM. It doesn't take forever to take a torch light and check on their mouth and hand. Do not take this matter lightly.

My heart goes to the boy. I do not even know his name, though he attended the same school as my children.

*sob sob* I need to hug my children right now.....

Mengapa?

2008-08-07T16:08:00.003+08:00

Kita sudah tahu bahawa takdir itu satu ketentuan dari Allah, tetapi mengapa harus ada rasa sedih dan kecewa?

Kita sudah tahu bahawa neraka adalah seburuk-buruknya tempat, tetapi mengapa kita masih ketawa dan terus menuju ke arahnya?

Kita sudah tahu bahawa kematian adalah sat kepastian, tetapi mengapa kita masih lalai?

Sebenarnya ruh kita ingin mengajak kita melakukan ibadah, tapi hati kita terlalu ditakhluki oleh keduniaan. Dunia sebenarnya adalah alat dan akhirat adalah matlamat. Jadikan dunia sebagai alat untuk kita mencapai matlamat di akhirat.

~ Ustaz Firdaus Masruhen

The word is.....GEREK!

2008-08-06T11:20:00.004+08:00

My nervousness about yesterday's Arabic class was baseless. I realized that there is nothing to be nervous about.

Because....

The lesson is.....GEREK!!

The classmates are....GEREK!!

The language is....GEREK!!

And the teacher is.....POWER GEREK!!

BETUL....TAK BEDEK! :D

The class was filled with SO MUCH FUN. My darling Arabic teacher, or should I call her - mudarris, taught me in a very fun way. I did not realized that two and a half hours past so fast.

It's been a long time since I sat in a classroom to learn new subject. I felt awkward at first. But after a while, I felt relaxed. Everyone of us determine to learn the beautiful language. I am happy to see two of my Halaqah sisters are in the class too.

Can't wait for next week class! :D

Nervous + Excited

2008-08-05T12:28:00.002+08:00

My second entry for today. I just have to let this out, or I'll go bonkers!

I'm feeling extremely very nervous today. But at the same time, I feel excited too.

InsyaAllah, tonight will be the night I'll attend another totally new class. I do not know who will be in the class and what is being expected from me. But I know I want to be in this class. It's all for knowledge's sake.

Tonight is where my very first Arabic Coaching class commence, InsyaAllah. I really want to learn the language of Al-Quran Nur Kareem, and again Allah has showed me the way. I pray that this class will be beneficial to me. Amin.....

Still nervous....

HE decides for me

2008-08-05T12:14:00.003+08:00

I should laugh hard at myself, for my stupidity!!

In my eagerness to seek knowledge, I did not read the fine print at the notice.

The new religious class on every Wednesday morning, will not be held at Masjid An-Nur, but at Masjid Muhajirin. This morning, I had my Kuliah Hadith at An-Nur. Somehow there's a voice telling me to read the notice again on the new class. And I was glad that I did.

The class will be held at Masjid Muhajirin and looking at my daily schedule, I can't afford the time to travel all the way there. I will not be in time to fetch my children from school.

Last night, I actually could not help thinking about attending the class (before I knew about the venue). I felt that it was such a waste not to attend that class since it's so near my house. But I leave to Allah to decide for me, and HE did.

Allah works in magical ways for those who trust in HIM.

Subhanallah....

Now I'm laughing hard at myself!! Padan muka aku..... :D

Should I Or Should I Not

2008-08-04T14:42:00.004+08:00

I am in such a dilemma right now.

Allah has opened another door for me to seek knowledge. There will be a new religious class at Masjid An-Nur every Wednesday morning. Allah knows I am so tempted to attend.

But I have other things to consider. I am attending quote a number of classes in a week. I can say that my schedules are full with those classes and my daily routines. But I can't deny that I am still yearning for more knowledge.

The problem is, every Wednesday morning is my marketing day cum quality time with Hubby. Every Wednesday morning he accompany to the market at JB. We have breakfast together. This is the only time that we are alone in daytime, while our children are at school. At the same time, he can fill up the petrol for our car.

So either I attend the above class and miss the quality time with Hubby. Or I continue with my routine and miss the chance to gain more knowledge.

I do not know what to decide. I want both actually, but that will never happen. I can't divide myself into two.

Help me, Allah. Show me the right decision....

Kuliah Hadith 2 - 29 July 2008

2008-07-30T16:20:00.002+08:00

Dari Ibnu Umar r.a bahawasanya Rasullullah s.a.w bersabda :

"Seorang Muslim itu adalah saudara orang Muslim yang lainnya. Janganlah ia menganiaya saudaranya itu. Jangan pula menyerahkannya kepada musuh. Barangsiapa memberikan pertolongan pada hajat saudaranya, maka Allah selalu memberikan pertolongan pada hajat orang itu. Dan barangsiapa melapangkan kepada seseorang Muslim akan satu kesusahannya, maka Allah akan melapangkan untuknya satu kesusahan dari sekian banyaknya kesusahan pada hari kiamat. Dan barangsiapa yang menutupi cela seseorang Muslim, maka Allah akan menutupi celanya pada hari kiamat."

~ Muttafaq'alaih

- Hajat menunjukkan sesuatu yang amat penting. Hajat adalah satu keperluan, bukan kemahuan.
- Minta bantuan dari orang bila kita sangat-sangat perlu dan terdesak.
- Ada sebuah riwayat, ketika Rasulullah s.a.w berada di atas unta, cemeti (rotan) baginda terjatuh. Baginda tidak menyuruh sahabat yang berada di bawah untuk mengambilkannya. Malah baginda turun dan ambil sendiri cemeti itu. Ini menggambarkan Rasulullah s.a.w tidak suka menyusahkan orang lain, walaupun pertolongan yang kecil.
- Lebih baik kita berkhidmat kepada orang lain, dari orang berkhidmat untuk kita.
- Jangan berasa gusar bila kebaikan kita tidak diketahui orang. Allah maha Mengetahui.

"Dan lakukanlah perbuatan baik, tentulah engkau semua akan berbahagia."
~ (QS Al-Haj : 77)

"Dan apa saja kebaikan yang engkau semua lakukan, maha sesungguhnya Allah itu Maha Mengetahui."
~ (QS Al-Baqarah : 215)

- Orang yang suka menganiaya orang lain, Allah akan azabkannya di dunia DAN akhirat. Kesudahan hidupnya akan sukar sekali.
- Sekiranya kita ada bergaduh atau tidak suka pada seseorang, jangan menyerahkannya pada musuh, hanya untuk membalas dendam. Orang Islam dibenarkan bergaduh, tapi jangan sampai melebihi dari tiga hari.
- Penyakit malas amat merbahaya dan tiada ubatnya. Kita boleh marah anak kita jika mereka memberi alasan malas ketika disuruh. Rasullullah s.a.w selalu berdoa supaya dijauhi sifat malas pada dirinya.
- Jika kita ingin meminta hajat dari Allah, kita boleh mengungkit kebaikan kita pada Allah. Dengan cara ini mungkin hajat kita boleh dikabulkan dengan cepat. Kita dilarang untuk mengungkit kebaikan kita pada manusia.
- Jangan minta balasan pada kebaikan kita pada manusia. Minta terus pada Allah.
- Satu kesusahan di dunia amat jauh berbeza dari kesusahan di akhirat. Bayangkanlah jika Allah melapangkan kesusahan kita di akhirat, bila kita menolong orang yang susah di dunia. Alangkah nikmatnya....

~ Ustaz Mamfizam Bakaram

Kuliah Hadith 1 - 29 July 2008

2008-07-29T17:43:00.003+08:00

Dari Abu Hurairah r.a berkata :

Rasulullah s.a.w didatangi oleh sahabat-sahabatnya dengan membawa seorang lelaki yang telah minum ARAK, kemudian baginda bersabda : "Pukullah dia, sebagai hadnya."

Diantara kita ada yang memukul orang itu dengan tangannya, ada pula yang memukul dengan terumpahnya, bahkan ada yang memukul dengan pakaiannya. Setelah orang itu pergi, lalu sebagian orang banyak itu ada yang berkata, "Semoga engkau dihinakan oleh Allah!"

Kemudian Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda, "Jangan berkata demikian, janganlah engkau semua memberi pertolongan kepada syaitan untuk menggodanya lagi."

~ Hadith Riwayat Bukhari

- Dari hadith ini, Rasulullah s.a.w mengajar kita, apabila seseorang yang bersalah telah dihukum, janganlah dia dihina atau diolok-olokkan. Cukuplah dia dengan hukumannya. Ditakutkan dia akan kembali ke maksiat lamanya jika dia terus dihina.

- Janganlah disebarkan keburukan dan keaiban orang lain.

- Rasulullah s.a.w melarang pukul di muka, kerana ia akan meninggalkan bekas yang boleh dilihat. Pukullah di tangan, badan atau punggung. Tidak ada hukuman di dalam Islam untuk pukul di muka, kecuali pada orang yang sudah bernikah tetapi melakukan zina, maka mukanya boleh direjam dengan batu.

- Meminum arak adalah kesalahan yang nampak kecil, tapi besar padah dan dosanya. Arak adalah punca segala maksiat dan membawa kepada melakukan dosa-dosa yang besar. Apabila mabuk, orang itu tidak sedar dia melakukan maksiat seperti berzina, membunuh, memukul dan ada yang menceraikan isteri. Cerai itu dianggap sah oleh para ‘ulama, kerana orang itu meminum arak dengan sengaja, walaupun dia tidak sedar akan perbuatannya ketika mabuk. Sebab itulah Allah melarang hambanya meminum arak.

- Orang yang ketagihan arak hingga akhir hayatnya, tidak ada harapan untuk masuk syurga. Arak perlukan 40 hari untuk bersih dari tubuh badan. Bagaimana Allah hendak menerima ibadah orang yang minum arak, jika darahnya mengalir arak yang haram?

- Ustaz Mamfizam Bakaram

Penghapusan Dosa

2008-07-29T00:49:00.005+08:00

"Maafkanlah kesalahan kami, serta ampunkanlah dosa kami dan berilah rahmat kepada kami."

(QS Al-Baqarah 2:286)

"Dan Dialah Allah, yang menerima taubat dari hamba-hambaNya (yang bertaubat) serta menghapuskan segala kesalahan (yang mereka lakukan) dan Dia mengetahui akan apa yang kamu kerjakan."

(QS As-Syura 42:25)

"Allah menghapuskan dan menetapkan apa jua yang Dia kehendaki, dan (ingatlah) pada sisiNya Induk segala ketentuan. "

(QS Ar-Rad 13:39)

Istighfar tidak mencukupi untuk menghilangkan dosa, selagi kita tidak minta Allah MENGHAPUSKAN semua dosa-dosa kita.

Allah bersifat Al-'Afu - Maha Suka Menghapuskan Dosa-Dosa.

"Ya Allah, sesungguhnya Engkaulah yang Maha Pengampun. Engkau suka memberi keampunan, makan HAPUSKANLAH dosa-dosa ku..." (Doa yang dibaca ketika bulan Ramadhan)

Mukjizat doa untuk menghapuskan dosa ada di dalam doa antara dua sujud di dalam sholat. Alangkah ruginya bagi mereka yang tidak dapat menghayati doa ini, apalagi bagi mereka yang tidak melakukan sholat...

- Ustaz Abdul Shafi Nurul Anwar

Wallahu'alam.

Freedom is here

2008-07-28T11:49:00.003+08:00

Alhamdulillah!! I am a very happy Ummi today.

Afrina, Afiqah and Affandy have been declared free of HFMD!!

They have started school today, and my routine is back to normal.

These happened when my children got their "freedom" back, last Saturday :

Afrina said, "Eh eh, lama tak naik lift!" And she jumped up and down in the lift.

Affandy wanted to go Causeway Point, but we went to Compass Point instead. As long as the word "Point" is there, he's happy. He persisted to buy Toby (from Thomas & Friends), but his request was declined, as he already has too many of Thomas & Friends trains collection. But we brought him a Optimus Prime T-Shirt & pants, he was satisfied.

Afiqah...haiz....she wanted to go to the salon to have her hair cut!! She had her hair trimmed last month, and now she decided to have a new look. Now she wants her hair short. She wants to show to her classmates, the "new" her. Gasak kau lah, nak!...Makin terserlah ketembamannya....hehehe...

I am a teacher

2008-07-23T14:20:00.004+08:00

Alhamdulillah, I think Afiqah is fully recovered from HFMD. No more ulcers in her mouth, and I do not see any blisters on her hands and feet either. But since her MC is till end of this week, I just let her stay at home.

While Afrina and Affandy, still have ulcers in their mouth. Good thing is that both do not have blisters on their hands and feet. Affandy do not really care about his ulcers as he ate almost anything. And yes, he talks a lot! But Afrina has some difficulty in swallowing food and talking. These few days she only ate porridge, and ice-cream for all the three of them.

I went to Afiqah and Affandy's school to collect their homework. They were given the whole of one week's school work. So they may be sick, but lessons still going on from home. And I am their teacher.

I realized that it's not easy to home school my children. They are not just completing their homework, but I have to teach them the new topics that are given. They need to catch up on their lessons so they will not fall back behind. Sometimes they are easy to coach, sometimes they do not co-operate enough. So that will make Ummi's blood go upstairs!!

Affandy kept asking what day is today and asked is it school holiday. When I replied no, he will raise the same old questions again and again - then why he is not in school!

Afiqah has started to miss her classmates. She even wanted to go to school by herself and asked me to look after Affandy. Like real, huh?

Amalan Lahir Di Masyhar

2008-07-22T15:56:00.004+08:00

Semua amalan manusia akan keluar dalam keadaan berbentuk pada hari Masyhar. Amalan yang saleh akan mengiring tuannya dan akan mententeramkannya. Amalan yang jahat akan mengancam dan mencela tuannya, dan ada pula yang mengatakan bahawa ia akan menunggang tuannya dan memaksa memikulnya di belakang.

"Sesungguhnya telah rugilah orang-orang yang mendustakan pertemuan mengadap Allah; sehingga apabila hari kiamat datang secara mengejut kepada mereka, mereka berkata: Aduhai kesalnya kami atas apa yang telah kami cuaikan dalam dunia! Sambil mereka memikul dosa-dosa mereka di atas belakang mereka. Ingatlah, amatlah buruk apa yang mereka pikul itu." ~ (Surah Al-An'am 6:31)

Dari kitab "Peringatan Tentang Umur Insan" karya Imam Habib Abdullah Haddad.

Jagalah diri dan jiwa kita sebaik-baiknya, kerana ia akan membentuk kita kelak di Padang Masyhar ~ Ustaz Abdul Shafi Nurul Anwar.

Wallahu'alam.

Garden of Paradise

2008-07-22T15:07:00.004+08:00

Last Saturday I had a really soothing experience. No words could describe when I was in the garden of paradise. Together with some friends whom I love so much for Allah's sake, we met at Masjid Al-Mukminin and recited the Zikir Munajat lead by Ustaz Fahrurazi Kiayi Kassim.

Tears just flow, without any force. Be at Majlis Zikir, and you'll know it!!

I redha

2008-07-19T12:31:00.003+08:00

Sad to say, now Afrina and Affandy got the HFMD too.

But I redha....

Last night, I checked on them, they have the ulcers on the mouth. But so far nothing on the hands and feet. Hubby took them to the doctor and they were give a week MC, just like Afiqah.

So for the whole of next week, my children will be home, just like school holidays. But they can go out during school holidays, but not this time. Even how bored they are, they are not permitted to get out of the house. I have to teach them to be considerate as their disease is contagious.

But seriously, they don't feel sick at all. Afiqah and Afrina did complain of difficulty in swallowing their food. But other than than, they are all pretty healthy.

Even Affandy was asking, why he needs to stay home when he is not sick at all.

Ummi : "Sebab Ady sakit"
Affandy : "Tak rasa sakit pun. Mana Ady ada sakit."
Ummi : "Memang Ady tak sakit."
Affandy : "Abe Ummi cakap Ady sakit."
Ummi : "Memang Ady sakit."
Affandy : "Apa ni Ummi?? Ady sakit ke tak?"
Ummi : "Just go and play with your toys lah!!"

I got a feeling he will be asking the same question everyday till end next week. :0

A Test From Allah, For Me

2008-07-18T11:14:00.003+08:00

It all started when Afiqah complained about having headache. She came back from school on Wednesday, saying the she needed to lie down because she got got headache. I thought it's because of the heat, so after she finished her homework, I let her rest.

On Thursday morning, she complained of "sakit hati". Ugh? Knowing that she can be a drama princess, at times, so I thought she meant her chest was in pain. But no, she insisted that it's "sakit hati". I asked how the pain felt like? It was like "cocok-cocok kat dalam hati". The funny thing was when her Abah asked, how she could get "sakit hati". She replied, "Mana Afiqah tau, Allah dah nak kasi, Afiqah sakit lah!" I should be smiling at that answer, right?

Due to her "sakit hati", I let her be absence from school yesterday.

But last night, after she performed her Maghrib, and was about to salaam me, I noticed small red dots on her fingers. I took a closer look and found a few more on both her palms. I felt so uneasy already. I took the torchlight and asked her to open her mouth. Hah!! I knew she got it already.....HFMD!!

No wonder she's been complaining of difficultly in swallowing food. Nothing on her feet yet and only a few on her hands. But the ulcers in the mouth has spread to her tongue. So I brought her to the doctor and she has 1 week MC.

I really really hope that her siblings will not get it. So far there's no obvious sign on them yet.

I need your prayers, my friends....

Hak Seorang Muslim

2008-07-17T12:00:00.000+08:00

Dari Abu Hurairah r.a, bahawasanya Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda :

Hak seorang Muslim terhadap orang Muslim lainnya itu ada enam perkara,

1) Jika engkau bertemu dengannya, maka berilah salam padanya

Salam itu sendiri merupakan satu doa. Hukum memberi salam adalah sunat, tapi wajib untuk menjawab salam itu.

2) Jika dia mengundangmu, maka kabulkan undangannya

Majlis undangannya itu haruslah memenuhi syariat Islam dan tidak ada unsur-unsur maksiat. Seandainya kita yakin majlis itu ada unsur-unsur maksiat, kita dibolehkan untuk tidak menghadirkan diri.

3) Jika dia meminta nasihat, maka berilah nasihat padanya

Agama itu adalah nasihat. Berilah nasihat melandaskan hukum-hukum Islam.

4) Jika dia bersin dan mengucapkan "Alhamdulillah", maka tasymitkanlah dia

Mentasymitkan dengan mendoakan beliau "Yarhamukallah - Semoga Allah merahmatimu". Kemudian si pembersin itu boleh menjawab "Yahdikumullah wa yushlihu balakum - Semoga Allah beri petunjuk padamu dan memperbaiki hatimu".

5) Jika dia sakit, maka kunjungilah dia

Doakanlah kesembuhan untuknya dan minta doa dari dirinya untuk kita. Doa orang yang sedang sakit dimakbulkan Allah.

6) Jika dia meninggal dunia, maka iringilah jenazahnya

Barang siapa menghadiri jenazah sampai jenazah itu disholati, maka ia mendapatkan pahala satu qirath. Dan barang siapa menghadirinya sampai jenazah itu dikuburkan, maka ia mendapatkan pahala dua qirath. Satu qirath sama besarnya dengan Jabal Uhud.

~ Riwayat Muslim

Wallahu'alam

Kata-kata Ustaz

2008-07-16T11:16:00.004+08:00

- Tidak perlu rasa sedih bila kita dibenci manusia. Yang kita perlukan ialah keredhaan Allah, bukan keredhaan manusia.

- Ajar dan tanamkan pada anak-anak kita, sifat kecintaaan pada Allah.

- Tanda-tanda orang yang bersyukur :
1) mengucapkan Alhamdulillah
2) mendirikan sholat dan bersujud
3) menggunakan nikmat yang dikurniakan dengan cara yang betul

- Tanya diri kita sendiri, untuk apa kita menghadiri kuliah? Adakah hanya untuk mendengar? Adakah perubahan pada diri kita?

- Seharusnya, setiap ilmu dari kuliah harus masuk ke dalam hati, bukan sekadar mendengar. Amalkan ilmu itu kemudian ajarkanlah.

~ Ustaz Firdaus Masruhen

Asked. And HE will give.

2008-07-15T11:45:00.002+08:00

I've decided to cease one of my classes.

The teacher, no doubt is good and has deep knowledge, but I couldn't make myself to attend his class at this mosque anymore. From day one I started joining, too many distractions overtook the class. The noise, the unnecessary talks, the lateness, the absence. I just didn't feel "fit-in". It's just not for me.

I asked from Allah, please show me the way to gain HIS knowledge. I'm yearning for more. I need beneficial knowledge. Knowledge that goes straight to the heart. Not just ordinary ones.

Subhanallah, Subhanallah, Subhanallah!!!

HE shows me the way, not just one, but a few for me to choose. MasyaAllah!!

A sweet sister-in-Islam recommended me to attend a class today, and I did. Just imagine, on the first day upon hearing the Ustaz's words, could make me cry, what will happen when I attend all his classes? His words simply moved my heart. This Ustaz is sort of a male version of my beloved Ustazah Sharifah Maimunah. Both of them stressed on the cleansing and purifying of the hearts. Cause everything start from there - the heart. Too bad that this Ustaz is just a relieve teacher for today's class. But I managed to find out his other classes that he teaches. I wanted my Hubby to sit in his class, at least, once.

That's why I said earlier, all I did was asked from Allah, and HE gives to me.

Allahu Akbar!

I tell myself, "make your time for Allah, and Allah will be there for you."

"Ya Allah, please don't let me walk alone. I need YOUR blessings and redha"

Kata-kata Hikmah

2008-07-14T11:30:00.002+08:00

Secebis kata-kata hikmah dari guru-guru yang aku sayangi, demi kerana Allah....

Kehidupan ini akan menjadi begitu INDAH, jika kita dekat dengan ALLAH...

Kehidupan ini akan menjadi begitu MUDAH, jika kita dipelihara ALLAH...

~ Ustaz Muhammad Abdul Shafi Nurul Anwar

Mereka yang tidak sholat, jiwanya tidak akan terasa tenang. Walaupun dia kaya, dia akan rasa kekayaannya tidak mencukupi. Dia tidak akan dapat pertolongan dari Allah. Jika dia tidak sudi untuk memandang Allah, Allah juga tidak sudi untuk memandangnya.

Orang yang kurang ilmu agamanya, suka berburuk sangka pada Allah. Dia akan rasa lambat sungguh permintaannya dikabulkan oleh Allah. Berburuk sangka adalah sejenis penyakit yang amat merbahaya yang boleh membawa kepada kekufuran.

~ Ustaz Jalaluddin Hassan

Orang yang sanggup tinggalkan sholat hanya untuk terus mencari harta dunia, Allah akan jadikan dia semakin kaya. Tetapi seandainya dia terus leka dan mati sebelum bertaubat, maka dia adalah orang yang amat rugi.

Lelaki wajib menunaikan sholat Jumaat, kerana dalam khutbah ada terkandung nasihat yang boleh diajarkan pada isteri dan anak-anak. Isteri dan anak-anak boleh mengheret suami/bapa ke neraka, seandainya lelaki itu tidak memenuhi kewajiban dalam mendidik mereka secara Islam.

~ Ustaz Fahrurazi Kiayi Kassim

It's been ELEVEN years

2008-07-11T00:15:00.002+08:00

Alhamdulillah.

ELEVEN blissful years of marriage.

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect."

~ (QS Ar-Rum 30:21)

I Can't Explain You

2008-07-10T10:00:00.002+08:00

This poem is written by Aaron Haroon Sellars, which Syekh Khalil Moore recited during his lecture at Singapore Post.

Aaron Haroon Sellers wrote this poem from his heart...

Syekh Khalil Moore recited this poem from his heart...

And I, the listener, cried and I can feel our beloved prophet, Rasulullah's (s.a.w) love for us, but what have I done to return his love? Was my selawat for him enough to return his love?

I Can’t Explain you! (Oh Messenger of God)

I could not write about you
For fear
Fear of your presence
And fear of
My hearts' brittleness
That I might die
In this pursuit
Yet wishing to die
In this state of intoxicated love
This is the conflict within me
Language cannot explain
Except the language of tears and laughter
Even the molecules of my body
Shake and tremble
With awe and excitement!

I just can't explain!
Oh Messenger of God!
I can't explain you!

Sometimes I forget
To say "Prophet" before your name
Not from heedlessness
But from desirous haste
To just say your name!
Muhammad, Muhammad, Muhammad!

I just can't explain!
Oh Messenger of God!
I can't explain you!

Oh the mystery of how
You have captured my heart
As a Christian
I loved the Prophets before you
But with you
I get them all!
I can love
Abraham, Moses and Jesus
Just by loving you!
Without this love
Your nation falls
With it
They are purified and irresistible!
Let those who
Possess this love
Not be stingy
Take it to the marketplace!
The workplace
And especially the home

It's hard to explain!
Oh Messenger of God!
I can't explain you!

Seeing the land of your life
causes some to live
And seeing your grave
Causes some to die
Nothing is more difficult
Than you
In my youth
I have written easily
My love for many
But when I encountered you
The translator of my heart
Fell mute
Lost in inexplicable wonder!

That is hard to explain!
Oh Messenger of God!
I can't explain you!

You sacrificed for me
Before I was even born
How should I thank you
As I now walk upon the earth?
My heart holds your love
My tongue sends you blessings
But it is my limbs
That often fall short
All this controversy about you
A proof of the veil
On your enemies hearts
And a proof against those
Who only follow you with words
But don't turn your face from me
As I reach for a drink
From your soft hands

Because it's hard to explain!
Oh Messenger of God!
I can't explain you!

Masya'Allah.....

.

Soalan Demi Soalan

2008-07-09T12:00:00.001+08:00

Apakah aku sudah bersedia menerima undangan Allah?

Apakah yang telah aku sediakan dalam menerima undangan Allah?

Sanggupkah aku meninggalkan segalanya demi untuk memenuhi undangan Allah?

Apa sebenarnya yang harus aku siapkan?

"Apa jua kebaikan yang kamu kerjakan adalah diketahui oleh Allah dan hendaklah kamu membawa bekal dengan cukupnya kerana sesungguhnya sebaik-baik bekal itu ialah memelihara diri (dari keaiban meminta sedekah) dan bertakwalah kepadaKu wahai orang-orang yang berakal (yang dapat memikir dan memahaminya)."
~ Surah Al-Baqarah (2:197)

Untuk memenuhi syarat bertaqwa, harus ada Islam, Iman dan Ihsan.

Tetapi, Islamkah aku ini?

Ya Allah, perjalanan ku masih jauh......dan bekalan ku tidak mencukupi untuk aku bawa ke sana..... :'(

.

Allah, The Sustainer

2008-07-01T17:00:00.001+08:00

Lesson learnt from my Kuliah Hadith.

Allah limit the provisions (rezki) in order to balance His slaves. Some slaves are destined to be rich, and some are poor. Allah wants those who are rich, to donate to the poor, while the poor supplicates for the rich.

"Verily, Allah is the All-Provider, Owner of Power, the Most Strong."

~ Surah Az-Zhariat (51 : 58)

"Beautified is the life of this world for those who disbelieve, and they mock at those who believe. But those who obey Allah's Orders and keep away from what He has forbidden, will be above them on the Day of Resurrection. And Allah gives (of His Bounty, Blessings, Favours, Honours, etc. on the Day of Resurrection) to whom He wills without limit."

~ Surah Al-Baqarah (2 : 212)

"And surely, We gave you authority on the earth and appointed for you there in provisions (for your life). Little thanks do you give."

~ Surah Al-A'raf (7 : 10)

"To Him belong the keys of the heavens and the earth, He enlarges provision for whom He wills, and straitens (it for whom He wills). Verily! He is the All-Knower of everything. "

~ Surah As-Syura (42 : 12)

"And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things."

~ Surah At-Tholaq (65 : 2-3)

Allah provides everything for all His slaves, all rezki come from Allah, not from humans.

.

The Tears

2008-06-30T23:55:00.002+08:00

Ya Allah, aku terima undangan Mu...

Aku hadir di sisi Mu...

Aku serahkan diriku pada Mu...

Aku redha dengan segala pemberian Mu...

And I cried and cried and cried repeating the above.

Allah makes my last Sunday, a tear-shedding day.

A day to let out whatever was inside the heart.

I am grateful for that.

.

I Am A Seeker.....

2008-06-30T17:15:00.003+08:00

All these while, I didn't realize that I am actually a seeker. A seeker of solace.

Attending the Syekh Khalil Moore's short-but-full-of-knowledge lecture, last Saturday, really struck me. His words just stunts the mind. MasyaAllah....

What I learnt from him, in order to cleanse the heart, get rid of these ten detestable traits :-

1. enviousness

2. arrogance

3. hatred

4. backbiting

5. self-promotion

6. finds fault of others

7. finds joy upon knowing the bad news of others and vice-versa

8. hypocrisy

9. difficulty in accepting truth, plunged in own way, debating or arguing on the truth

10.ostentation, pretentious or showy

Can I cleanse my heart of those 10 traits?

And I'm still seeking, ya Allah.....

.

Love At First Heard

2008-06-27T14:00:00.002+08:00

If I did not make an effort to find knowledge, I will always be in the dark.

Yesterday I "forced" myself to attend a night kuliah at Masjid Al-Iman. And I fell in love with it!!

Among other things, I've learnt that :

(Allah creates) This earth is a place for us to sujood, so there is NO EXCUSE for us to not to perform sholat. Sholat can be done anywhere (not just in mosque), as long as the place for sujood is clean. The keyword Ustaz stressed was, NO EXCUSE.

Reminder to myself, don't make ANY excuse to skip Sholat, or to delay the Sholat. I believe that a busy life makes the Sholat harder; but the Sholat makes a busy life easier.

Beautiful, isn't it?

.

The Simple Message

2008-06-26T16:45:00.001+08:00

It's amazing how a simple message of LOVE received at 4.47 A.M....

can make me cry...

can make me wanna be so close to Allah...

can make me realized I am full of sins...

can make me feel how close I am to death...

can make me truly accept the fact that I am nothing in this world...

It all started from a message from someone who loves me, for the sake of Allah.

Jazakillah bi khair, to the sender of this message.

I love you too, for the sake of Allah.

The Silaturahim

2008-06-26T15:50:00.003+08:00

I love them, for Allah's sake.

Though the meeting was only for an hour, it's all that we need.

The silaturahim.....

2008-06-23T16:00:00.001+08:00

I have to put this up.

He's FIVE years old today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MUHAMMAD BAQIR AFFANDY.

You are a precious gift from ALLAH, to me.....Alhamdulillah.

The Only Places I Wanna Go Again

2008-06-16T17:00:00.001+08:00

and again and again and again and again .......

Madinah Al-Munawwarah AND Mekah Al-Mukaramah.

Period.

The heat, the striking hot weather, the burning skin, the rashes, the dust, the bleeding nose, the crowd...seems like nothing when I was inside the MOST beautiful places on earth, Masjidil Haram An-Nabawi AND Masjidil Haram Mekah.

MASYA'ALLAH....MASYA'ALLAH...MASYA'ALLAH is the only word I could write now.

I cried like baby when I did my last prayer at Masjidil Nabawi...

I cried so hard when I did my last prayer at Masjidil Haram...

I don't know when I can set my foot on those places again. InsyaAllah this coming Hajj? I don't know.....

What I know is that, I cried a lot at those two Masjidil Haram. Like I wrote in my previous entry, it's a journey of a million teardrops. And it was....

Back to reality, I have loads of laundry to clear.

I have 7 luggages to unpack.

I have more than 1000 photos to upload.

I have lots and lots of things to write and share.

But I can't do it overnight.

At this moment, I need rest. In my sleep, I want to dream of those two places.

I want to go back there.....

It's Gonna Be Different

2008-06-01T17:45:00.002+08:00

My intention is only for ALLAH.

And I want to be there with my RASULULLAH.

I am leaving right after my Subuh prayers tomorrow. Everything is almost ready. I am touched by the visiting and unceasing do'a from all my fellow sisters-in-Islam. I cried hard for that.

If only I could bring all of them with me, I would.

This Umrah trip will be different from the one I went in 1997. I was young then. I went for the sake of going, and I was not there full-hearted.

This time it's gonna be different. I am ready and I submit and surrender myself to my Creator.....ALLAH.....

"Allah yang mencukupi segalanya. Dialah yang aku tuju. Dialah yang mencukupi segala sesuatu, Dialah yang mencukupi aku."

Please pray for me.... :'(

The Journey Begins Soon

2008-05-27T23:00:00.001+08:00

I'm nervous. But I'm ready.

I am ready for a journey of a million teardrops. A journey I know that I will face trials and tribulations.

I can't wait to step into Masjid Nabawi at Madinah Al-Munawarrah.

I long to face and gaze the Kaabah at Masjidil Haram.

Ya Allah, please make it easier for me to be near my Rasulullah...

Grant me with all the khusyu' to pray and supplicate in front of Baitullah...

Too Much

2008-05-21T23:30:00.001+08:00

All these while,

...I've said too much.

...I've talked too much.

I've failed to prevent my tongue from talking about unbeneficial topics. I've let my tongue loose. I could not keep my mouth shut.

"Narrated Ibn 'Abbas: I have not seen a thing resembling 'lamam' (minor sins) than what Abu Huraira 'narrated from the Prophet who said "Allah has written for Adam's son his share of adultery which he commits inevitably. The adultery of the eyes is the sight (to gaze at a forbidden thing), the adultery of the tongue is the talk, and the inner self wishes and desires and the private parts testify all this or deny it." ~ Sahih Bukhari"

"Had it not been for the Grace of Allah and His Mercy unto you in this world and in the Hereafter, a great torment would have touched you for that whereof you had spoken. When you were propagating it with your tongues, and uttering with your mouths that whereof you had no knowledge, you counted it a little thing, while with Allah it was very great. ~ Surah An-Nur : 14-15"

Astaghfirullah.....Astaghfirullah.....

Ya Allah, please stop me before I say anything unuseful. Give me a chance to think and consider before I blurt out my words. Make it easy for me to zikr to you...

It's all so worth it.....

2008-05-20T12:30:00.003+08:00

.....the standing for almost at the whole event,

.....the running here and there,

.....the enduring under the hot blazing sun,

.....the sweat,

.....the aching feet,

.....the migraine,

.....the hungry,

.....the thirst.....

Upon seeing about 10,000 Muslims and Muslimah gathered, despite the very hot wheather, for the sake of Allah and our Rasulullah s.a.w.

Alhamdulillah.....

I wanna be there

2008-05-16T23:59:00.004+08:00

I'm nervous and I can't wait for this Sunday.

InsyaAllah, together with estimated about 12,000 people, and I will be one of them.

I'm more excited thinking that I am one of those volunteers involved in this Majlis Maulidur Rasul.

....Rabbi yassir wa laa tu'assir....

It's all for Allah's sake....

And it's because of you, Ya Rasulullah....

Grant me with your syafa'at, I want to there with you at Padang Masyar.

Death

2008-05-13T00:30:00.001+08:00

Today I've learnt about death. I attended a Dhuha class, and the topic was all about death.

Ustaz depicted about how it feels like to be on the verge of death. What do we actually feel on our sakaratul maut. Some death may be easy, some death takes very long.

Ustaz asked us to hold our breath as long as we could, and decribed what did we feel at that point. There were some mixed answers : uncomfortable, pain, dizzy, desperately gasping for air etc.

But all agreed on one thing - SCARED...

Once we are on the verge of death, Allah will open the hijab to another world - the halfway to the hereafter. The world where we can see Jin and Syaitan. At that point, we will feel terribly thirsty. They will disguise as our love ones (those who are closed to our hearts), and offer us a drink. At the same time, persuading us to deny that Allah is not our God. Na'uzubilllah minzalik!!

Ya Allah....I seek your forgiveness.

Ya Allah....Please bless me with your rahmat, taufiq and hidayah.

Ya Allah....I pray for Husnul Khatimah.

Patience

2008-05-08T18:16:00.003+08:00

It's easier to say than done.

I try to instil patience to my three children, but before I can do that, I have to show them what is patience is all about.

I have to be patience myself, so they can follow me.

But like I said, it's easier to say than done.

A little provocation can make me lose patience.

I have so much to learn to control my anger and zip my mouth.

Astaghfirullah......Astaghfirullah....

Zzzzzzz.......

2008-05-02T16:18:00.006+08:00

Allah pulls back the nikmat in life as we grow older..

But InsyaAllah, HE will replace with better ones.

I used to NOT taking afternoon naps and I could still slept late and woke up early.

But now, it's different.

I dozed off when I attended my night class. And it happened twice already. And I don't like it a bit - feeling sleepy at class.

I struggled to keep awake, to the extend that I even pinched myself. Ouch!! But it did not help.

I want to stay wide awake during those classes as all the ilmu on the classes are very precious to me. Too good to be missed!!

So now, though I don't like it, if I have night class to attend, I try to nap for maximum half an hour during the day. I do not wish to take a long nap as I will get difficultly to sleep at night.

Tonight I am so free as my Halaqah class has ended. I'm looking around to attend any night class on Friday.

Cry

2008-04-29T16:37:00.003+08:00

I want to cry hard....for Allah.

I want to cry more....for Rasulullah.

I need THEM for my akhirat.

I do not want to pull my husband to hell for my sins.

I do not want to pull my son to hell for my sins.

I do not want to pull my father for my sins.

Ya Allah...I beg your sympathy and forgiveness.

*sob sob*

Another Day

2008-04-25T12:23:00.004+08:00

ALLAH is kind to me.

He gives the taste of being sick since yesterday, But I am grateful for that.

I can still presume my normal routine chores.

I pray. I do laundry. I cook. I vacuum the house. I change the carpet. I even got the strength to sit in front of the PC.

HE makes me fall sick, and I shall go to HIM for prescription.

ALHAMDULILLAH....

The Chosen One

2008-04-24T11:13:00.003+08:00

Someone close called me up the other day and asked me, how come I was not one of the chosen one?

After having some thoughts about it, I came up with these...

It's inevitable to feel disappointed when I am not the chosen one. I asked lots of questions wondering what it takes to make me the chosen one.

It is trust? Or how long I should know that person? Does it base on my ability and compassion?

Should I be disappoint when not given the privilege to read/view something exclusive and private?

Maybe the right word to describe the disappointment is "being left out".

But I forget one very important thing. Actually it's okay to be left out on the above situation. As it only happen in this WORLD.

I should be real disappoint when not chosen by ALLAH for his taufiq and hidayah.

I should cry hard when not given by ALLAH His compassionate guidance.

My heart should break when I fail to remember ALLAH when HE is there for me every seconds of my life.

I AM NOTHING without ALLAH's love.....

Death is CONFIRMED, but life only...INSYAALLAH.....

When one door is shut on me, I know there's lots of other opening doors waiting for me to enter. ALLAH is far and just.

And the latest, I was welcomed to join an exclusive "cats group of people." Heh heh....

So do I still feel disappointed for the above "human" reason.

Totally NO.

I can smile now. ALHAMDULILLAH....

Here I Am

2008-04-21T16:56:00.003+08:00

It's been almost a year I left this blog alone.

But this fingers of mine have been itching to blog again.

So....InsyaAllah, I'll start to write again.

I'M OUT!!!

2007-06-20T11:33:00.000+08:00

I'm so lethargic to update my blog lately. I think I lost interest in blogger, again. And I don't think anybody comes here and read anymore.

But I can be found here. Feel free to add me as contact.

Have a bless day, everyone!!

:)

He wants it, he got it......

2007-05-01T23:45:00.000+08:00

Hubby got himself a new toy today......NOKIA N95

He's been eyeing it for so long and been patiently wait for its launch, now he owns it.

I should feel envy, but this time I'm happy for him.

This is his first ever BRAND NEW EXPENSIVE handphone he got for himself.

He's previous handphones were either second-hand (I was the first user) or he got it free when he signed a new contract with the service provider.

So you see, that's why I don't envy that he got his dream phone. But he knows me so well, even though I acted like I'm cool about it, my hands were soooo itchy to try the phone. And he let me played with it first. Yeah!!

While my fingers pressing here and there, I was like, "wah.....!", "kencang seh...!", "eh best nye..!", "wow....!", "fuhyoh...!" etc.

The best part was that, he told the kids, "All of you cannot touch this handphone, only UMMI and ABAH".

The kids were complaining, "TAK FAIR!! Ummi aje boleh..."

Abuthen?? I'm the MOTHER, hokay!!

Heh heh......

DEAD BEAT PART 2

2007-04-21T17:00:00.000+08:00

Let me continue.......

Monday, 16 April 2007

I was exhausted. I had diarrhea. And Afiqah still burning with fever.

This time I took her to the doctor and she got 2 days of MC. Affandy also did not go to school as I was so tired to send and fetch him.

I spent my Monday by going in and out of the toilet, taking care of the a sick Afiqah and kept shouting to a super hyper active boy at home!! *fainted*

Tuesday, 17 April 2007

My diarrhea was gone and I let Affandy go to school. Afiqah stayed at home and rest but I still tagged her along when I fetched Affandy from school. I was so relieved that Afiqah was getting better.

Wednesday, 18 April 2007

I received a sad news from MIL when I was waiting to fetch my kids from school. Hubby's grandmother passed away in Malacca. I was so shocked and it left me speechless for a moment. My body was shaking and I held up my tears. After I regained control of my emotion, I called Hubby and we decided to drive to Malacca soonest possible. I went home straight and started to pack up, while Hubby rushed back and fetched Afrina from school. Together with my PILs, we drove straight to Malacca without stopping. We reached there in less than 3 hours.

We were just in time to see Nenek. We were the last one to say goodbye to her. I cried hard. Just last month we went to visit Nenek, and now she's gone......

Al-Fatihah for Nenek, Hajjah Aminah Binte Yunus....... We gonna miss you so much.....

We stayed in kampong for the night. I went to bed at 2 a.m but I could not sleep.

Thursday, 19 April 2007

We had to rush back to Singapore and left Malacca about 10.30 a.m. This was the sad moment for us. We salam, hugged and kissed our kampong relatives. We cried. We felt the loss of Nenek. They made us promise to come back even when Nenek is not around anymore. InsyaAllah....... even though they are far, they are near in our hearts. We will definitely come back to kampong to visit them.

We left with heavy hearts.........

We reached home about 3 p.m. I was so tired and sleepy that I took a nap. I checked on Afiqah, I thought she could attend school next day.

Friday, 20 April 2007

Just as I thought everything was fine now, but it wasn't. As I was about to give Afiqah a bath, I was surprised when I looked at her body. Rashes all over!!! I got panicked. Is this chicken pox or HFMD? They're so red and she said it's itchy.

I got Hubby to send Affandy to school and I sent Afiqah to see the doctor again. I was so relieved when doctor said it's not chicken pox or HFMD. It's a type of rashes due to dust or allergy. Phewww........

Even though she has rashes all over, her is back to her real self.

Today, Saturday, 21 April 2007

With Afiqah having rashes and it's raining right now, we stay at home. We may be going out for dinner later at night.

I want my strength and energy back.......

DEAD BEAT PART 1

2007-04-20T22:30:00.000+08:00

So many things happened for the past one week. One after another. At this moment, I am physically and mentally tired. I have yet to regain my strength back. Let me try to recall what happened since last week Wednesday.

Wednesday - 11 April 2007

Out of the sudden, Afiqah's temperature rose. From a cheerful and energetic girl, she became so quiet and her just kept to herself. I self-medicated her and hopefully she could have peaceful night sleep. But she kept waking up and cried. I lost my sleep for that night.

Thursday - 12 April 2007

Afiqah was absent but I let Affandy went to school. Since Hubby could not be released from his work, I had to fetch Affandy from school. I had no choice but to drag Afiqah along as no one's to take care of her. Her fever went up and down and I continued to self-medicated her. She still woke up and cried at night and I lost my sleep again.

Friday - 13 April 2007

Afiqah's fever was gone so she went to school. But in the late afternoon, again her temperature rose and again I self-medicated her. And once more I had only a few hours of sleeping.

Saturday - 14 April 2007

Afiqah's fever was on and off.

I've been busy baking and making last minute preparation for my BIL's engagement. I made some gubahans for the hantarans. I baked more than 500 pcs of mini cupcakes. I also made puddings. After Maghrib, we went to MIL's house to send over the kuehs and did some touch-ups on the hantarans gifts. When we reached home about 11 pm, I put my kids to sleep and continued with preparing the ingredients for Udang Sayur Masak Lemak. I slept at 2 a.m.

Sunday - 15 April 2007

This was the busiest day of the my life. This was the day my BIL got engaged.

I woke up at very early to cook the Udang Sayur Masak Lemak. Got my kids ready for the occasion and off we went to collect the hantaran cup cakes which I ordered from a friend. I ordered two more kuehs from an online friend and I am so grateful that she offered to deliver over to my MIL's house.

Only Allah knows how busy I was. I divided myself into two, being a obligated DIL and an apprehensive mother with a sick child. Yes, my Afiqah was still sick with fever and flu.

I'll talk more on my BIL's engagement day when I upload the photos.

After the last guest left, I helped MIL to clean up the mess. We reached home almost 11 pm and I was totally worn-out!!

To be continued......

THE FRIDAY

2007-04-09T11:45:00.000+08:00

We did go out on last Friday. Hubby came back around 6 pm and off we go to Orchard Road!!

Hubby parked the car at Royal Park Hotel and did his prayer there. While waiting for Hubby, my kids and I waited at the hotel lobby as though we were one of the guests there. I got the kids to pose and I took their pics. Even the hotel's staff greeted us. Hahahaha......!

It's been a long time since we went to Far East Plaza. I used to worked with the management before I was married. So much changes and all the tenants that I knew were no longer there.

We walked around and decided to have our dinner at one of the Malay restaurant on the 5th floor. The food was good but the service sucks!!

When Afrina's food was served and she was about to eat (only few seconds to reach her mouth), the man asked her to stop eating and took back the food!! He said the food was meant for the other table!! Then he served the same plate to the other table.

Sheeesshh....! Macam gini punya orang pun ada!

What happened if Afrina already eaten the food? Would he still served to the other table?

Pity Afrina, while waiting for her food, she licked the fork and spoon..... Betul punya lapar anak dara aku......

We are so NOT going there again!!

I planned to took some night view pictures of Orchard Road. I brought along my camera stand. But I forgot to charge the battery earlier and it went flat!! Weak ah....

So after dinner, we thought of strolling along Orchard Road, but Afiqah started to get crancky, saying that she was tired and sleepy. Spoil ah....

Siang suruh tido taknak, bila nak jalan penat!!

So, we pun baliklah!!

WHAT HOLIDAY??

2007-04-06T16:45:00.000+08:00

Today is a public holiday, and it's supposed to be A holiday.

What is a holiday means to me?

It means.....

- no cooking (checked)
- no tedious housework (well...just the laundry)
- no school (checked)
- must go out (arrrgggghhh.....!)

This is the setback. We really have no idea where to go but we will definitely go out, no matter what. I was ready, and the kids were ready. Once Hubby came back from his Friday prayer, we planned to have lunch and just roam around Singapore.

But.....

His pager beeped, and off he went to attend the customer's stupid machine problem!!

Die die also must attend!!

Leaving me and the kids at home, all dressed up, feeling very hungry.

We waited and waited and waited, who knows he could come back fast and we could have our lunch together.

It was 3.30 pm and the kids were starving, I was starving too!!

And this Ummi, die die also didn't want to cook (holiday what!!)

So off we went to, where else, the nearest makan place which is just across the road.

Hah kau, lantaklah kami anak beranak!!

Even Afiqah which is not a rice-person, asked for chicken rice. (Obviously she's famished)

Still hoping the Hubby would come back soon, so went home straight.

Hubby still not back yet, even while I'm typing this entry.

While waiting for their Abah, the girls are watching whatever DVD and Affandy is having his nap.

And all of us are still in our baju jalan, just waiting for that one phone call from Hubby.

Still waiting..........

P-M-S

2007-03-28T00:15:00.000+08:00

The perils of being a woman......

I have to do something to control my anger during PMS. I think it has come to a dangerous stage where I have no idea what's got into me!

I get iritated simply over a small tiny matter.......

I flare up so easily....

I snap at my kids.....to the extent that I even hit them.

I don't remember being like this few years back.

Someone recommended me to take Evening Primrose. I did. Well, it do helps to balance up my hormones, but it makes me put on extra weight.

So I stop.

Now I just can't wait for the "red days" to come and be over with, so that I won't infuriate any further.

In the meantime, don't come near, I'll BITE!!!

THE CONVERSATION

2007-03-23T23:30:00.000+08:00

I almost forgot that I have a blog to update.

Life has been pretty plain so far. Nothing much to talk about.

I am very grateful that Allah has opened another door for me to seek knowledge. Thank you to a friend that recommended me to that place. Though I have to travel quite a bit, bringing my two smaller kids along, I find it worthwhile. The timing is so right for me. There's also a mini playground for my kids to occupy themselves with. Meaning less interruption from them.

I am so looking forward for every Thursday.

**************************

I had a conversation with Affandy, this morning.

If Hubby is not in town, I have to send my two younger kids to school every morning. Like any other days, the bus was crowded with working adults. Affandy was asking why there were so many people in the bus.

My reply was because these people must take this bus to go to work.

Since he was quiet, I thought he got the picture.

Then I asked him, "Can Ummi go to work?"

Spontaneously he answered, "NO!!"

"Why?"

Innocently and purely he responded, "Ummi cannot work cause Ummi is a girl. Only boys go to work, like Abah."

Mmmmmm.......I like his reply. Untung siapa dapat kahwin dengan anak bujang aku!

But thinking back.....

Apa dia ingat Ummi dia ni tak keje kat rumah? Ummi cuma mengadap muka dia 24 jam!

:)

GULP

2007-03-12T11:00:00.000+08:00

I'm kidless at the moment!

Yes, I'm alone at home. Syiokness to the max!!

My girls are at their ex-babysitter's house since last night.

My boy is on excursion. I'll be fetching him an an hour's time.

The girls will be back tonight and I shall bring home 1 more girl.

So tomorrow I shall have FOUR kids to look after!! *Gulp*